We have been blessed with good friends in our life. I was really scared to leave SA because of the amazing friendships we had made – I was terrified they would lose their “sparkle” and I suppose also scared I wouldn’t make friends of that calibre over here. Being in the UK has taught me so much about friendship. I am so grateful for this as although it has been hard, I have learnt that friendships grow, steadily and beautifully like a flower – the more sunshine and water you give it the better it does. By the same token, if you overwater it it will die (I think i did a lot of this growing up!) but just the right mix and it will thrive, and blossom. What you put in, and what you feed that relationship with, is often the key, but one of the most important factors is patience and consistency. Slowly but surely, we are building good friendships here in the UK. And the longer we are here, the more I know that these relationships are solid and good and dependable.
We had a weekend spending time with good friends – by good, I mean those friends you can be brutally honest and vulnerable with and know you’re safe. One of our really dear friends made a special trip to see us in Nottingham which meant the world to us. We only had 24 hours together, but it felt like we’d had a weekend away and a proper South African kuier (Afrikaans for good visit). I was reminded of how some things never change, and good friendships are like that – you can pick up where you left off. Incredibly heart warming and simultaneously soul-tearing for us as we missed him and his beautiful family, weekends away and a lifestyle we had built in Cape Town. But we know when we return, we can share this together.
The day before we collected him, we spent time with an old work colleague of my Hubby’s. She was integral in the planning and decision making of moving here as she lives in the UK and works both in SA and in the UK. I had only met her on two or three previous occasions, but she had only been gracious, generous and embracing to me. I was so surprised that having that history with her (and my husband has years of experiences shared), gave me a knowledge that we had already connected on a deeper level than say someone you had met a few times. This made the time spent together so rich and heart warming, despite the fact that she didn’t know me that well (apart from what she reads here!).
And then we were surprised when we popped into the local pub with our friend, and bumped into a bunch of our new friends (people we have known just over a year) through my running club (Beeston AC) and realised what special people we had met in our short time here, and what great friends they too are. They may not have years of history on us, but we can laugh with them and enjoy life with them, and for now thats really promising and great.
And I realised in my chats with our SA friend, that most of our really good friends in SA, are still exactly that. We may not see them as often, but they are friends of our heart and soul, and we will always have them, no matter where in the world (or country) we are. It is a very reassuring thing to realise that friendship is so often what you put into relationships, and understanding that everyone has busy lives and full lives puts things into perspective. We are building up a global network of friends – from Chicago to Kamloops to Laos to Auckland to Hong Kong to Chile – good friends of ours have scattered around the world. I miss them and their company, but know that whenever and wherever I see them next, things won’t have changed, and we can pick up where we left off.
And this reminds me that my life is not full yet – there is always room for more friends, and they are truly the essence of what makes a life beautiful.
theadventuresofguyandli 